For too long I've laid in a bed not my own. I've made steps out of habit rather than desire. I've pleased people undeserving simply because it's become the only way I can survive... I'm tired of my back being crooked. I know where i made my mistake and yet I walked down this path for damn near a year. Life may be hard, but in my weakness I allowed someone to overtake my free will. I spend this moment in contemplation...memorizing each mistake I've made to lead me here. I WILL understand my faults and I WILL protect myself from letting this happen again. The point of making mistakes is to learn from them, and I intend to focus on mine until there is no more knowledge to drain from them. The past may have been full of flaw, and I know that the future will be too, but I will make certain I never repeat a mistake like this.
You are the reason I realized this. I was following the ideas of others, but you made me realize that I've been ignoring myself in all of these regards... You are my savior
you are my saint
you are my partner, my closest ally
......maybe this is how love is supposed to feel.


"And I know I've built a bed of unrest
that destroys my heart once I lay my head down.
Destroys the crutches that I've built,
I thought they were sound...

With an effort so constrained, this is venom in my veins
created, cured by the same,
by the same.
I've chosen selfless over selfishness,
I've left a bed of disgust and unrest.

Destroyed the crutches that I built myself
I found that they were never sound.
It won't consume my heart anymore.

And I know I've built a bed of peace
that restores my heart once I lay my head down.
Rebuilds the crutches that I destroyed myself.

I plead to change my life, just before I dream
and wake to realize that change is inside me."

-we are the reasons by We Came As Romans